For once, I’m not going to get emotionally invested in the Super Bowl.
It’s a good matchup, but I don’t think it’s one most NFL fans wanted. I’m a big fan of Patrick Mahomes and really wanted a Chiefs-Rams rematch, just like everyone else who watched that awesome Monday Night Football game in LA. I would have gladly settled for Chiefs-Saints. Heck, even Patriots-Saints would have been fine because then there would have been a real underdog in there. But we got a matchup that could easily go either way, no matter how badly Brady wants to pull the “nobody believes in us” card despite being favored to win this Super Bowl for the last 12 months.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m a lifelong Buffalo Bills fan who has hated Tom Brady and the Patriots for almost 20 years now. I’d sleep well Sunday night if I saw them lose to the Rams. I just know that won’t happen. I’ll tell you exactly how this is going to go. The Rams will look good early and inspire false hope in us all, then get too cute and/or overthink things defensively in the second half when the Patriots have made their usual excellent halftime adjustments. The calls get questionable and dumb stuff happens and New England wins again. Steelers fans everywhere choke on their Primanti Bros. sandwiches because someone else can now claim six Super Bowl wins. Please, LA, prove me wrong.
So, if you’re like me and going to a Super Bowl party for the food and company and to watch a game you don’t plan on screaming at, consider some prop bets.
I get emails from something called Mason Media Consulting every few weeks with betting lines for pro and college sports and I’m not sure how I got on their mailing list, but it comes in handy every so often. I always like pulling up the props because it puts a fun twist on watching the game. It’s not betting straight up wins-losses or point spreads: you’re rooting for minutiae, the outcomes to things you probably didn’t think about if you don’t write these emails, receive them regularly or have a crippling gambling addiction.
You don’t have to put real money on these things and end up at a Gamblers Anonymous meeting next week. But if you’re looking to spice things up on Sunday, here are some props I would take.
Both teams combine to score more than 75 points (Super Bowl record)
The LA offense is extremely good most of the time, but the Patriots are smart enough to know how to slow it down. New England’s offense gets the job done but isn’t quite as explosive as Kansas City’s or LA’s this year. I would go against the record being broken this year.
CBS shows Rams-Saints pass interference non-call
They’re going to do it as soon as the Rams get on defense and Nickell Robey-Coleman moves a muscle in front of the main camera.
Brady or Goff wins Super Bowl MVP
I’m about 100 percent sure the Patriots will win the game, meaning Brady will 1,000 percent be named MVP even if he throws, like, two interceptions against one touchdown. People go nuts for that guy. I don’t get it.
Belichick and McVay/Brady and Goff age gaps brought up
Not only will this happen, but I’d go as far as to say they’ll have graphics made for it with side-by-side photos of what Sean McVay and Jared Goff looked like 19 years ago versus what Bill Belichick and Brady looked like in their first Super Bowl run.
Color of liquid poured on winning coach
Water (or clear Gatorade) is favored but I have a feeling they’ll have yellow Gatorade in the coolers on Sunday. Just a hunch.
First score of the game: touchdown, field goal or safety?
The Patriots get downfield with help from a roughing the passer call and Brady throws a touchdown pass to some guy you’ve probably never heard of. Business as usual.
Whose age will be closer to the total points scored: Belichick (66) or McVay (33)?
It’s got to be Belichick. There’s no way we’re getting a 17-14 final.
Last, but not least: will Robey-Coleman be called for pass interference?
Probably not, but if it happens I’ll pull up Saints Twitter faster than Tyreek Hill runs the 40-yard dash.